I once was told, if you are going to do a favor for someone, don’t expect anything in return. This seemed like quality advice, and I believe it still is. However, I think this heuristic can be expanded on. When you do anything for someone, don’t have expectations of what the reciprocation looks like. I have learned we have different expectations of people, and when they don’t meet those expectations, we feel let down. We then think differently about the individual for not following the narrative we created in our minds. This only causes unnecessary suffering on our end, and can poorly impact relationships.
Instead, help individuals because we can and want to. The satisfaction of helping is the reward itself. This paradigm expansion helps us greatly in times of need. Inevitably, we all get to a point in life’s adventure where we need help. Sometimes in life, we are on a hot streak, and it seems as though we can do everything ourselves. We quickly learn this is just a product of goals that are not ambitious. A lofty goal requires help from all angles.
If we adjust our paradigm in the moments we need help, we will have a shortlist of people we can feel confident in calling. The better part is they will help because they want to not because they feel obligated to. This is not a minor difference. This will have a significant impact on the quality and extent of the help you receive. This can be the difference in helping you get to your destination and taking you further from it (even if it’s by accident). Relationships require time, care, and, most of all, selflessness. One way to exercise selflessness is to be of assistance when needed, without any reciprocal expectations.
Authentically investing in relationships pays dividends for life.
